For Parents

Abuse can and does frequently happen in the following places and it is important to remember that the key message here is that generally the abuser is known to the child or young person, the abuser has to have access to the child.

• Abuse can happen at home. This includes by family members or close friends of the family, by someone you know and trust.
• Abuse can happen in school.
• Abuse can happen at church or in a religious setting.
• Abuse can happen in the places our children and young people go. For example, in sports, theatre, and other extracurricular activities.
• Abuse can happen online. This could be by a stranger or someone your child knows. We need to get up to speed with the technological lives of children.

We want you to think about where your children go, the youth groups, sports clubs, holiday programmes – what policies and procedures do they have to safeguard your children and young people?

Remember, that people of all genders perpetrate child sexual abuse, however International and New Zealand research does identify the majority of perpetrators are male. The evidence also shows that perpetrators of sexual abuse are more commonly in a position of trust like a school teacher, a sports coach, an after school club leader or a babysitter. It’s a position of trust because parents trust that person to look after their children appropriately. This link contains much of that evidence: The Australian Institute of Family Studies Resource Sheet

Abusers use these positions of trust to abuse children and young people and because they are trusted, the abuse goes on unseen.

A relationship between an adult and a child or young person is always an imbalance of power, and a position of power and influence over a child can be easily abused. We must look beyond the impression a person gives to what their actual behaviour is.

It is important that you are alert to grooming behaviours particularly of staff or volunteers of an organisation or group, as well as any person they observe engaging in these behaviours towards a child or young person. Any organisation or group should have a child protection policy and procedures as well as a code of conduct which they should refer to for guidance on how to respond to such indicators and concerns.

Red Flag Child Sexual Grooming Behaviours

As a parent or caregiver, you hold a unique position of influence in your child’s life. By actively engaging in this year’s theme of preventing child sexual abuse, you can make a significant impact on your child’s safety, wellbeing and future.

We must start to be okay with the uncomfortable knowledge that child sexual abuse is happening around us in places of familiarity, including our work places, within families we know personally or within our own, and our communities around us.

Children and young people find the internet an easy place to explore their identity, to challenge adult norms and boundaries, experiment with relationships and practice a range of behaviours. While this can be positive, unfortunately, many of the negative consequences and implications of these things are amplified online.

These seven steps from Netsafe’s Online Safety Parent Toolkit provide guidance to help parents and caregivers like yourself to increase your digital parenting knowledge:

By encouraging these conversations and sharing your knowledge, we can equip children and young people with the skills needed to navigate the digital realm responsibly and ensure their online safety.

To protect your child from sexual abuse it is important to create a family safety plan. Understanding risk factors and their indicators is vital in this process. Risk factors refer to circumstances that increase the likelihood of someone sexually abusing a child, such as close proximity or lack of supervision.

• Help them understand what is acceptable behaviour and assure them that they can always tell us if someone makes them feel uncomfortable or worried, even if they couldn’t say no at the time.
• Respect privacy for everyone in the family, including during dressing, bathing, and personal activities.
• Teach children to say no when they don’t want to participate in certain activities like playing, tickling, or hugging. It is really important that you build a trusting relationship with your children where they feel comfortable talking about both good and bad things. We listen to their fears and concerns, assuring them that they can always share anything with us without worrying.
• All children and young people should be heard and their preferences respected, including young children.
• Choose babysitters carefully and avoid leaving children with anyone you have concerns about. If a child is unhappy with a specific person, talk to them about the reasons why.

Starting conversations about these topics with children can be challenging. Talk to other parents for ideas that have worked for them.

Remember the SMART rules for important conversations: